what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
