Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
