You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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