He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
