he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
