need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize