grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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