I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
