You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
