am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
