My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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