You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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