It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
