I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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