i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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