final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
