I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
