PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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