omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
now i know why i became what i already was.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
