PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
