mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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