I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just found a bag of teeth...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
