I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
