Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
