Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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