im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
