I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
