god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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