I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
