I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Someone signed my nipple.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
