do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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