We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
