look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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