So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
