Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
