her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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