Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
