No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
