I love black thongs
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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