Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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