worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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