We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
