Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
