2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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