like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
