Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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