You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
