just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
