Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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