Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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